Being retired, each day was pretty much like any other day for Sam. To keep track, he measured the days of the week by the number of Prevacid, his acid reflux capsules, left in the seven day card: four left, it was Wednesday, one left it was Saturday, all gone it was Sunday and time for a new card. Weeks were counted by taking out the garbage on Thursdays. It was a new month when he paid the bills and tore up the first check because he’d forgotten to change the month number. Birthdays and annual holidays were mileposts of a passing year, and, for the extended Langley family, occasions for coming together. When they gathered, the level of tension in each family unit determined whether the day would be a pleasure or a pain. National holidays, like Memorial Day and Labor Day were easy because they didn’t generate intense emotions. Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter were hard because they reminded everyone that Sarah was gone.

Today was one of the best, The Fourth of July, and Sam was warming up to the excitement of the Horribles Parade in the morning and the fireworks in the late evening.

Sam looked at the clock. Russ, Teresa and Jimmy were due in ten minutes to take him to the parade. At the corner of Pleasant and School Streets they would meet Kathleen and Naomi and, as a family, watch the parade. From the time the children were small, the Langleys had stood at this corner each Fourth of July morning. Sarah took pictures, the children picked up candy thrown from passing floats and Sam saluted the flag as it passed. The Marblehead contingent of old submariners always brought a tear to his eyes. Sam and Sarah, when she was with him — alive the children would have said — loved the parade. It was a time when both wanted to be in the same place at the same time.

“You’re late,” Sam said as they arrived. “We’d better hurry or we’ll miss the parade. It’s not that long.”

“Teresa forgot Jimmy’s sun block, so we had to go back,” Russ said, his face fixed with the disgusted expression into which it had frozen sometime in his teenage years. He wore a tee shirt emblazoned with “Don’t Even Think About It” that fit tightly over his chest and shoulders revealing the muscles on which he worked assiduously with weights and barbells. Except for her strained expression, Teresa looked rather pretty in a summery dress and wide brimmed straw hat.

“I had some sun block,” Sam said. “You should have just come.”

“That’s what I told her, but no, we had to go back.”

“Well, you’re here now. Let’s go.”

“I’m not going,” Russ said. “Spark plugs need changing on my truck. Anyway, I’ve seen enough Horribles Parades.”

“Come with us,” Teresa begged. “It’ll be fun.”

Jimmy gave his father a pleading look, but had the good sense not to say anything. He’d learned to keep his mouth shut around his dad. A little shorter and about fifteen pounds lighter than most ten year olds, he was a disappointment to his father.

For an awkward moment the three of them looked at Russ, then Sam headed for the coat closet to get his hat. “Come on, let’s go.” Why argue? Sam thought. If he wants to be a prick, let him.

Kathleen and Naomi were standing under the awning of the Spirit of ‘76 Bookstore when they walked up. They greeted one another and Teresa urged Jimmy to work his way through the throng so he would be standing by the curb. Dropping his head and rolling his shoulders, he mumbled something about being able to see just fine where he was, and remained slightly behind his mother. Teresa looked at Sam, shrugged and turned her attention to Naomi.

Naomi was petite compared to Kathleen and five years younger. Her light brown hair hung in a hundred ringlets over her shoulders which were bare above her tube top. Both she and Kathleen wore shorts and Kathleen, a light shirt buttoned and tied in a knot at her waist. Kathleen had told her father the troubles Naomi had had with her sexual orientation in high school and college. When she told her parents, they practically disowned her. Teresa too, had earned the disapproval of her strict, Italian Catholic family when she married a Protestant. Sam surmised it was the two women’s feelings of alienation from family that drew them together. Whatever it was, Teresa was asking about Naomi’s job as a sales associate in one of the art galleries on Newbury Street, and Naomi was inquiring about the companies for which Teresa did bookkeeping.

Kathleen asked her dad how the novel was going.

“No where. Can’t seem to get started.”

“I’m sorry. Maybe you need to back away from it for a while.”

The shifting crowd on the sidewalk moved him and Kathleen a few feet away from Naomi and Teresa, so Sam took advantage of the distance to tell his daughter that Russ was back at the house changing the plugs on his truck.
“In one of his usual snits?” Kathleen asked.

“Yeah, blaming Teresa for forgetting Jimmy’s sun block.” Sam thought for a moment, then said, “I think he wants to the do the right thing, but it never seems to come out that way. And he’s so damned bossy around Teresa.”

“Like you were with Mom,” Kathleen said with a laugh, but her father was indignant.

“I was never bossy,” he insisted.

“Not like Russ, but you let Mom and the rest of us know we had to do things your way.” Sam scowled at her. “If we didn’t, you either got mad or sulked.” She looked at him. “See, you’re doing it now, sulking.”

He turned away and said sharply, “Thanks for telling me about it on my favorite day of the year.”

Kathleen snapped back, “For God’s sake Dad, lighten up.” She turned away to look up the street, disgusted.

The sound of the Combined Boy and Girl Scout Marching Band announced the coming of the parade and the crowd pressed toward the curb. Following police motorcycles around the corner, about thirty scouts of all ages approached, playing trumpets, trombones, horns and drums with determination. Then came the wonderful Horribles, children between the ages of one and twelve representing neighborhood groups, clubs, and dance schools. They were dressed like astronauts carrying their new space station, or they wore gas masks and held signs depicting a power plant belching smoke. Some had homemade costumes of animals, birds or fish. One group represented the School Committee while other kids carried signs thanking them for a new high school.

Sam watched joylessly. During a gap in the passing marchers, Kathleen leaned close to him and said, “I’m sorry, Dad. I thought it was an old issue that didn’t matter anymore.”

When he turned to his daughter his eyes were moist. “Well, I never hit your mother. If that’s your brother’s problem, you can’t blame that on me.” He tried to hide his face from her.

“I’m not blaming anybody, Dad. You were a good father and you loved us all, especially Mom.”

It was getting too much for Sam: the parade, the lingering fatigue from his operation, the heat and the hurt from what Kathleen had said. He moved to the back of the crowd and into the shade of a doorway.

Angry, more with himself now than Kathleen, he took out his handkerchief, removed his glasses and wiped his eyes, hoping anyone who noticed would think he was removing a speck. Putting his glasses back on, his eyes came to rest on a woman standing on the other side of the street. Blinking away the prismatic effect of moisture in his eyes, he tried to bring the refracted image of the woman into focus. She appeared to be staring at him. Had he made such a fool of himself that he’d attracted her attention? He studied her. There was something about her that held his gaze. When her right hand came up to her cheek, a wave of dizziness hit Sam and he had to lean against the door. Again he removed his glasses and wiped his eyes. When he put them back on, she was gone. He searched but couldn’t find her in the crowd. She’d simply disappeared.

“Dad, please come back to the parade.” It was Kathleen. He hadn’t seen her come up. “I love you. I’m terribly sorry I upset you.” She touched his arm.

Sam pretended a laugh, “I don’t know what got into me. It was awfully hot down there.”

“Let’s watch the rest of the parade from here.” She climbed the step to stand beside him and put her arm around his waist. Her tenderness brought a return of Sam’s tears but he blinked them away. What would he do without Kathleen?

“Look,” she said, “that little guy dressed like a lobster.”

But Sam’s eyes were still searching the crowd for Sarah.

The Marblehead Festival of the Arts took place over the Fourth of July weekend and Kathleen wanted to show Teresa the painting Naomi had entered in the Adult Show. Sam said he’d take Jimmy home and the rest of them could make the rounds of the art shows held in the different churches. “Just be back in time to cook the hamburgers.”

Before going home he and Jimmy had a frozen yogurt with chocolate sauce and nuts which they ate sitting on a stone wall in the shade of a maple tree. “Glad to be out of school?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Jimmy said.

“Got plans for the summer?”

“I’m going to Y Day Camp for two weeks.”

“That sounds like fun. You and your folks going away for a trip?”

“Naw. We talked all winter about going on a camping trip to Maine, but Dad’s got this summer job now so we can’t go.”

“That must be disappointing.”

“Yeah.” He looked over at his grandfather. “What’s a hyena?”

“A what?”

“Mom said you went to the hospital for a hyena. What is it?”

“Oh. You mean a hernia. Sometimes the muscle wall near the stomach gets weak and part of your intestine bulges out.”

“Yuck.” He wrinkled his nose as if he smelled something dead. “Let’s go to your house.”

“Okay,” Sam agreed and pushed himself off the wall. “Can I watch TV?”

The hood of Russ’s pickup was closed and he was sitting on the back deck drinking a beer and reading the Sunday Globe.

“Finish the truck?” Sam asked.

“Yeah. Where’s Teresa and Jimmy?”

“Jimmy’s in the house and Teresa stayed downtown with Kathleen and Naomi.” Jimmy had not come to the deck, but had gone straight to the TV in the bedroom. He didn’t want his dad to tell him he couldn’t watch it.

“So what am I supposed to do all afternoon?” Russ complained.

“Whatever you want, I guess.”

His son groaned. “Parade the same as always?”

“Pretty much, but I love it anyway.” Sam sat down beside him. “How’s the summer job going?” During the school year Russ taught Social Studies in the Beverly High School and coached the football team. Summers he worked for an area contractor who specialized in plastic and aluminum siding for homes and office buildings. He’d started with this company when he was in college and been with them every summer since.

“It’s a bitch in this hot weather, but the pay’s good.” He gave his dad a fleeting look, then said, “I’m staying on with them this fall.”

Sam looked at him, puzzled. “You mean, part time?”

“No, I’m quitting teaching.” Then abruptly, “And don’t give me a hard time about it. I’m fed up with the whole school system. There’s no more autonomy. They’re on your back about everything. Now they’re requiring me to get recertified and take a bunch of courses.”

Sam was worried. “This is a big move. I hate to think of you leaving teaching.”

“It’s more like they’ve left me. It sure as hell isn’t the career I started with when I graduated.”

“What does your contractor do in the winter. They can’t put up siding in the snow.”

“They don’t. He’s a general contractor. Does painting and carpentry too. There’ll be plenty of work.”

“How does Teresa feel about this?”

“Haven’t told her yet. Anyway, it’s my decision. She’ll just have to live with it. Hell, I’ll be bringing home a lot more money. That should make her happy.” He snapped open the Sports section he’d been holding and disappeared behind it.

Sam looked at the newspaper wall behind which Russ glowered. He wanted to say, “Go home. You’re like a black hole that sucks all our energy.” Instead, he said, “I’m going to take a nap. Jimmy and I had a frozen yogurt for lunch. If you get hungry there’s food in the icebox.” Russ didn’t reply and Sam went to the bedroom. Jimmy was stretched out on the bed watching the Cartoon channel. Sam said, “You can leave it on but keep it low. I’d like to take a nap.” He lay down on his back beside his grandson who found the remote and lowered the volume. Sam closed his eyes.

I’m exhausted, he thought. I wish they’d all go away. I shouldn’t have stood so long watching the parade. I can feel it in my groin. Again he saw the image of the woman standing on the other side of the street and watched how she brushed her cheek. Had she really been there? Maybe his son-in-law was right about the neurologist.

Jimmy leaned over and whispered in his ear. “Thanks Grampa for coming in to watch TV with me.”

Without opening his eyes, Sam let himself smile. “You’re welcome, Jimmy.”

Russ was relieved to stand at the grill and cook the hamburgers because it saved him from having to talk to the others. Jimmy had two jobs, getting the buns and paper plates ready, and to keep Key West from stealing uncooked hamburger meat. While they worked, the women told Sam about the paintings and sculptures they’d seen that afternoon.

At nine o’clock, they went to the quay at the Marblehead Boat Yard to wait for the fireworks to begin. Russ saw one of the other carpenters with whom he worked. The man, Fred, had come with his wife and three children to watch the fireworks. Fred introduced his family and Russ his. The men all shook hands, even Jimmy, with a little prodding from his father. Russ was different when he talked to Fred. They laughed about something that had occurred at work. It was the first time in a long time that Sam had seen his son laugh. Maybe it would be best for him to give up teaching and stay with carpentry.

Sam found a place on the stone wall to sit and Naomi sat beside him. “Is this the first time you’ve been to our fireworks show?” he asked her.

“Yes,” she said zipping up a windbreaker over her tube top. With the setting sun the temperature had dropped to sixty-eight degrees. “I lived in Boston before I met Kathleen. They have a great display, but this is different. People here all seem to know each other.”

“We come back to the same spot every year. Do you like Marblehead?”

“I do. It’s just the place I’ve been looking for.” She paused for a moment, then looked at him. “Thanks for including me in your family. It means a lot to Kathleen and me.”

Sam smiled, “I’m glad you’re part of us.” And he thought, every time I’m ready to ship them all off to Timbuctoo, one of them says something like that.

“It’s starting,” a voice announced, and the crowd moved to the edge of the wall.

“The fireworks?” Naomi asked.

“No,” Sam said, “the Grand Illumination.” Sam and Naomi twisted around on the wall so they could look at the water. The harbor, filled with sailboats, was a huge basin protected from the ocean by Marblehead Neck and the causeway. At the middle of the causeway a railroad flare began to glow. A moment later other flares on either side of the first one were ignited, and a line of lights began to stretch outward onto the Neck and along the shore of the mainland.

“It’s like a necklace of fire,” Naomi said. Sam, mystified as always by this event, nodded silently.

Soon the circle of lights reached the boat yard and it was time for the flares on the wall to be lit. Quickly the area was illuminated by gushing red flames, and the air was filled with an acrid, orange smoke. People standing on the quay became opaque silhouettes against the dazzling glow and moved like ghosts through the cloud of smoke.

There she was again. The woman he’d seen at the parade. She was standing at the other end of the wall, appearing and disappearing as the smoke rolled over the crowd. Sam watched her as she watched him.

“Excuse me, Naomi,” he said hastily, “there’s someone I want to talk to.” He got up and, as fast as the pain in his groin would let him, walked through the drifting smoke toward the end of the wall. When he got there, she was gone.

Chapter Four